It's been quite a while since I've written. In fact, its been so long that I not only forgot the password to the blog but also the password to the email account I used for this, and now that I think of it, I don't even remember the email account! Much has happened since those long ago stories. My days are now filled with happy nothings, but yet I love those happy nothings.
Today I realized just how truly blessed I am to have everyday adventures, nothing necessarily exciting or tragic, just a simple day by day life. But how many days do we honestly appreciate the freedom that we enjoy?
As every girl does at some point, I've looked at myself and hated what I saw. Not understanding why I was the way I was while others were better. At the gym I was thinking this bitterly and watching the screens above me as every star danced in front of me parading their perfection. Being so consumed with myself I almost didn't notice the girl in the wheelchair in front of me. Her mother was moving her onto a machine to work her legs. I saw tears of frustration in her eyes. Her movements were slow and almost unbearable to watch. She made a joke to her mother who's concern could not be hidden even with a smile.
What had happened to this girl? Did she ever experience the feeling of running freely or playing hopscotch?
I couldn't help but watch her. I admired her strength and determination. Who was I to pity myself and be completely selfish while she, who cannot even move on her own, ignores her own disabilities and laughs at life.
This girl, about fifteen, though she never spoke a word to me, showed me how to truly live. Where is the beauty in life if all we see is what we lack and others have? Our vision is limited to the negatives in life causing our thoughts to become increasingly bleak.
How easily we believe the lies whispered in our ears that we're not good enough, never will be good enough. Weren't we created in his image? Isn't it enough to be alive? I've heard this said to me time and again but it never hit me as it did today.
I looked back at the screens above me and rather than seeing beautiful women smiling, living their perfect lives, I saw an emptiness. There was a vacancy in their eyes and in their actions a desperate need to be noticed. I looked back at the young girl struggling into a machine, there was strength in her eyes and courage in her actions.
I walked away now knowing within whom true joy could be found.
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